Pulling My Hair Out

And no it's not because of Obama's tone-deaf diss of Scott Brown driving a pickup. And ohmygosh John Kerry reminded us that Bush drove a truck too! Yeah, and guess what John, Bush WON and apparently so has Brown. Maybe this will help truck sales now, who knows? But it certainly won't hurt having another person in the senate who wants to help Americans bring home more of their paychecks.

Anyway, back to the point of this post which is (drumroll please) my hair has started falling out!!!!! I woke up this morning and my scalp was really sore, like when you've had your hair pulled back too tight in a ponytail. And all day whenever I raked my hands through my hair lots of strands were coming out. And I kept doing it. It was like when you have a bump on your face that you know you should leave alone but you can't, and you just keep messing with it. That's how I was today with my hair. I just couldn't help pulling my fingers through, just seeing how much might come out. Now I have to point out that I have some seriously big hair so this was something that could go on for several days, and I might have been fine with that except for the fact that it really hurt. Seriously, my scalp was so tender that any movement of my hair (brushing, answering the phone, etc) was really, really painful.

So when Bob got home I told him it was just time to cut it all off. Part of me wanted to hold on to the delusions that maybe this is all I will lose. But I knew deep down, this was only the beginning. I had a choice: I could sit around in la-la land and let my hair slowly (and painfully) comb out over the next several days or I could confront the reality of it head-on and just be done with it. Besides, I was out at Wal-Mart today with my hair piled up in a clip, and all I could think of was what if the whole mass on the back of my head decides to just fall off on the floor and there's like this dead animal sitting there in the middle of the cereal aisle? Could I just keep walking with a straight face (and a giant bald spot in the back of my head) like I had no idea where that thing came from? Probably not.

Which brings me to the super-short cut I have now courtesy of my dear husband. It's not quite what I would have gotten at Paris Parker, but it was a lot cheaper and my scalp doesn't hurt anymore with all that weight gone. I kinda like the short 'do and I told Bob I may even leave it that way after my hair grows back, properly trimmed of course. We'll see. The kids said they like it, although Olivia was a bit distressed at first and kept shouting "stop, put it back." When she grows up with an obsessive attachment to her hair, we'll know why.

Aside from the hair saga, I'm feeling really good, pretty much back to normal. My next chemo treatment is Wednesday the 27th, which gives me a good week to enjoy myself and gear up for the next round.